So there I was, scrambling to find a swimsuit that in some way flatters my still fat ass. My mother and I went to TJ Maxx. Now, usually I can not discount shop for swimsuits, because I have ridiculously large breasts and must have maximum support, coverage and still some element for cuteness (read: I spend over a hundred). This year however, times are pretty tight. We have less than a month left in our savings and while that might dissuade some people from shopping, well... you can't keep a good card down.
Back to the Maxx. So, my mom is being a saint, playing with the munchkin at the entrance to the dressing rooms while I mad dash try on suits in hopes of a miracle for our annual trip to Florida to see Pauls parents. Let me lay the ground work for this by saying that I am 30, and was sealed to my husband less than a year ago, after about 10 years inactive. Needless to say, garments are new. I find an appropriate suit and throw my clothes back on grab the suit off the floor and truck out of the dressing room in hopes of getting Elle home in time for a nap. My mother looks at me and says, "Katy... your shirt?" I look down in horror, I had grabbed my suit AND my shirt off the floor and neglected to put the shirt on. I FELT fully clothed! Mortified, stunned and mortified I gasped and ran to the dressing room threw on my shirt and considered momentarily just setting up housekeeping there. I mean it is connected to a homegoods, I could live there for awhile right?
2 comments:
That beats my little "new to wearing garments" story. I went through my first endowment without a bra because I felt covered. I know. I'm not big chested. At the time I still had twenty-something boobs. And you know how big those dresses are. Anyway, all that to say. . . . wish I could've been there, babe :)
You crack me up!! I would have visited you in the housewares department - they have great deals on cookware!
You're not alone. One of Mary Ellen Smoot's funniest stories is her leaving her hotel room, going down the elevator, traipsing through the hotel lobby, getting into the car, buckling up, and realizing she had forgotten to put on her skirt(at least she had on a slip!)
Imagine that walk of shame - through the lobby, up the elevator, but this time knowing she was only wearing a slip!
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